Nan: No Training Wheels.

I remember getting a Christmas card from Nan, a college friend from years and years ago. (She and her husband were the ones who said, “Hey, Mari. You should start a cupcake business.”) And in it, she told me about her kids and how her at-the-time four-year-old learned how to ride a two-wheeler. Without training wheels.

1 – Assemble the bike without training wheels and without pedals.
2 – Put the seat low enough so the kid can scoot himself around using his feet.
3 – He’ll get used to balancing on two wheels, and he’ll get so bored that he’ll beg you to put the pedals on so he can just go.
4 – You attach the pedals, and your preschooler is riding a two-wheel bike.

Has anyone else ever tried this?

Tammy: Eliminate Awkwardness.

Someone told me once there are two questions you should never ask:
1 – Are you pregnant?
2 – Are you the grandmother?

Tammy (a close girlfriend who works at Children’s Memorial Hospital and deals with a bajillion kid patients and their caretakers daily) has figured out a roundabout way of determining the answer to the second.

—–
Scenario:

Tammy walks into exam room all decked out in official doctor-type gear. She sees a baby, a woman who looks like she’s 25, and another woman who looks like she’s 45.

She asks the baby, “So, who did you bring with you today?”

The younger woman volunteers, “Oh, I’m her mom, and this is my sister.”

Tammy thinks to herself, “Thank-freakin’-goodness I didn’t ask if she was the grandmother.”
—–

Other awkward scenarios eliminated by this question:

“We’re his dads.”
“I’m her grandmother, and this is my neighbor.”
“I’m his uncle, and this is my girlfriend.”

But the workaround the “are-you-pregnant” question? You keep your mouth shut. And you never, ever, EVER ask.

EVER.